Philip Larkin and The Good Wife- how to choose your words

Larkin’s poem “Talking in Bed” ends with these lines…

It becomes still more difficult to find

Words at once true and kind,

Or not untrue and not unkind.

I’m not sure whether this observation is sad, or maybe the best we can hope for? Is it perhaps better than the alternative- words that are untrue and unkind? In the TV world of American public life, portrayed by series such as The Good Wife, characters spend most of their time speaking words which are neither true nor kind. We are led to believe that public discourse, whether in the media, politics or the law, is all about power, manipulation and revenge. The last thing anyone seems interested in is whether the words are true- until the lies become personal and hurtful, of course. Perhaps the compromise Larkin suggests is better than this- can we at least agree to speak to one another in a way that is “not untrue and not unkind”?

Yet God expects more than this of His children. We are to seek truth and kindness…and then to speak of them, particularly in our relationships with others. Paul writes to the Philippians :

For the rest, my dear family, these are the things you should think through: whatever is true, whatever is holy, whatever is upright, whatever is pure, whatever is attractive, whatever has a good reputation; anything virtuous, anything praiseworthy. And these are the things you should do: what you learned, received, heard and saw in and through me.

Philippians 4: 8,9

Spend some time listening to how those around you speak. Where on the spectrum of true/kind…not untrue/not unkind…untrue/unkind do their words fall?

Is it right to challenge the untruth and unkindness? How would it be best to do this? Is this what Jesus meant when he called us to be light and salt to a dark and decaying world?